I've been having awkward conversations with people so as to approach a certain situation the best, most loving way.
(Not that I'm always successful. I screw up. But I'm committed to doing the right thing.)
This effects everything.
This morning, I spent quite a bit of time telling a friend that there's nothing he could ever do to make me love him any less. I was hoping that he'd understand how much he's loved and begin to let us be real friends for hard things, not just the easy stuff.
It's incredible to choose to love someone no matter what.
It's painful. It's difficult.
It's redemptive.
I don't think I deserve love most days.
Sometimes that makes me push away the people who try to love me most.
Those are the days I need the most love.
It's not easy. I'm not easy to love.
I know that.
But, it's about choosing to love me anyway.
It's about choosing to fight me in order to love me sometimes.
It's about telling me that I matter enough for you to fight for.
There's this awesome person in my life... He's been there for quite awhile now, and he's played a big part in how I experience Jesus because he's shown me such unconditional love.
I've been really honest about life with him. I've let him in to my life.
He's seen and known my heart.
This afternoon, he told me that he's tired of fighting to be close to me.
It's not easy enough. I'm not worth the fight.
Maybe this isn't what he meant, but it is surely what he communicated.
As if the words that preceded those didn't cut deep enough, he said if I'm going to be so difficult to love, we can just part ways.
Hurt people hurt people.
I know. I've known.
You were supposed to love me better.
Do I get grace?
Unconditional love?
Here's the hard part:
I'm devastated by this conversation I had.
I'm tempted to let my hurt build and disconnect from him completely... but isn't this just what I'm asking?
If I'm so hurt because he's mentioned the possibility of giving up, do I then give up also, or do I push and fight to love him?
Love is an action.
Love is a lifestyle.
Love is a choice.
Love is a need.
"Let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."
Love is an action.
Nobody ever said it was going to be easy.
It's simple to choose love, though.
Love wins.
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