Love and the many lies we're sold.

My heart longs for a love that sets me free,

A love that enables me.

What I have been sold, however,

is a lie that the only true love

is that which leaves me lost without another.

I found myself wanting to express how much I love him today,

and all the things I wanted to say, I realized I didn't want to mean.

I don't want to be unable to function without him.

I don't want to ever say "I can't live without you."

What I need is a love that only He can give.

What I don't need is a lie that 'alone, I can't live'.

I don't want to live without him, but I can.

I need to be able to survive because my life isn't dependent on him.

Jesus shows me His love in so many ways through this man that I choose to love...

this man who sets me free with the love he so generously gives to me.

I haven't deserved the Love I've been given for one single solitary moment, but it's a gift I've gotten nonetheless; it's a truth with which I've been undoubtedly blessed.

Love is meant to be this sacrificial, selfless lifestyle.

It's not a feeling, it's not even an action, it's a conscious daily choice, a way of life that's always laying down...

It's serving and dying and giving and losing...

It's freeing and empowering, encouraging and hugging...

It's listening and redeeming, releasing and embracing...

It's knowing that no matter what,

We will always be inadequate;

It's knowing that we can't lay down,

but for the grace of His crown.

(anything at all, no matter how big or infinitely small)

It's saying I love you, and you need to know I'm nothing.

I'm nothing without Him, even when I say I love you, know I will fail.

Know that the only times I even come close are when I am nothing...

Because that's when He's working through me,

and when I try of my own strength, I will inevitably fail.

I love you. (I will always fail).

I am nothing, therefore completely incapable of loving you.

BUT -

He has chosen [for some strange reason completely unbeknownst to me]

to love you through these hands of mine,

through this heart of mine,

I promise to pray

everyday

to let it always only ever be

His grace and love

flowing

through me.