College, Knowledge, & Being on Edge. {A revised letter to my Dad}

Saturday evening my best friend & I drove to Lakeland (Southeastern University) to have a meeting with the guys who did a project just like one we’re planning.

We had an awesome time in Lakeland, I visited with an old friend from middle school for the first time in years. I had a short but inspiring conversation with a new friend, and we visited my friend's grandmother, sat with her for awhile, had a great conversation… We experienced awesome music, saw a play, heard an amazing sermon, had a community lunch... It was wonderful. And, as always, he and I had hours of deep conversation that challenged our lives.

In this conversation, the two days spent in Lakeland, and my drive home alone, the whole college thought process was weighing heavy on my mind yet again. 

What do I do? What’s the purpose? What’s my heart behind it? How do I approach it? Do I have to go?

For one of the first times ever, I was able to see the truth in the conversation I had with my Dad the other night…
He is the biggest advocate and supporter of my going to college, it's a necessity.

I have what most [at my age] don’t yet:
A maturity and wisdom that comes from experiencing life [and the world]…
A responsibility that comes from knowledge and understanding, as well as passion and brokenness…
A purpose that comes from knowing [already] what my life is to be about… my passions, my cause, my soul.
A calling to live life differently knowing what I know now. 

In this thought process, seeing college as a venue to be used for my own good – to fulfill the previously mentioned calling, purpose, responsibility – to grow those things…

As long as I stay true to them, and to who I really am;  As long as I don’t lose sight of what makes me come alive; As long as I don’t sell that part of my soul for anything: Then it’s beautiful, and an amazing opportunity that I should most certainly take advantage of [and plan to].

That’s hard, though.

Being different as I already am, it’s hard to be in a place, surrounded by many who are actively pursuing the selling of their souls, unaware of what makes them come to life, unaware of such a life at all, and be able to keep the focus of my life’s calling…

But… That’s what Jesus is for.

 

All of this nonsensical rambling to say that my Dad was right. (Which he already knew, I guess.)

But, as so often has been the case, I had to come to the conclusion on my own, even when this is what I’ve heard all along.

Thank heavens that I realized it while in search of the truth about college, as opposed to once I’d given up/lost heart, or done it half-heartedly.

Don’t expect anything drastic tomorrow.
I’m not going to start applying to Ivy League schools this week. I'm just expressing that I have grasped the importance and do plan to pursue that as my own dream, not just as an effort to please my father.

As with all things that are given and trusted to Jesus to lead and guide us, I have no idea what any of this looks like, just an understanding of the purpose and need. (That’s the first and most important step for me if I’m to take action on anything.)