The pain inside overwhelms my body...
Unable to breathe deeply, barely able to hold back tears, I know I've betrayed Him.
When I tell my four year old self proclaiming boyfriend, Isaiah, how much I love him, he always says, "I'm cheating on you."
And I always say, "I love you anyway."
Once, I said, "You know, Isaiah, Jesus loves you."
Isaiah responded, "I'm cheating on Him too."
And before I could process my thoughts, I'd already said, "We all are, and He loves us anyway."
I've had hope stolen from me.
And some days, I've gladly given it away, not realizing the extreme detriment to my soul... Until the emptiness and despair overwhelms me at the thought of unconditional love.
Unconditional love:
I could never deserve.
Doesn't even exist.
Can never happen.
But then, there He is, in the sunset again, beautiful light shining through the clouds, whispering His love for me, requesting that I be His bride.
* Jeremiah 3:1 * Hosea *
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
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