Kill My Self.

Learning, growing, seeing, touching, doing, speaking, listening, 
LOVING.

I walked with a friend down Paramore last night, with pizzas from Little Ceasars, at 9 oclock. 

I saw at least a hundred men sleeping in boxes, covered with cardboard, asking me if they could buy a slice of pizza. 

I traded them for hugs. 

I wasn't welcome to sleep at the coalition for the homeless. Nor was I welcome to give pizza. 

After all the pizza was gone, and I half-smoked a cigarette - to make a point about Jesus, addiction, growth, witness, and example - we walked on. We ended up on a roof overlooking downtown. 

My friend threw the cigarette pack off of the roof. No words were spoken... It was my friend's last struggle of SELF. 

And before the cigarettes were thrown, I had been thinking that I would like to throw my SELF off of that building. 

That I need to die in order to really live. In order to really be free, I must kill all of that SELF inside me that screams to be the center of my life.

There are so many more words to be spoken, written. (and typed.)

But I know not how to form them, because they are too many. 

Luke 9:23