The joy of the Lord is my strength

As much as I have needed to learn to say no to people, I am learning that I need to ask for help.

It's like I'm too proud, but in reality, it's this huge effort to avoid being proud or seeming proud that is causing it.

But mostly, I'm afraid that if I tell you I need you, and then you don't help... That's a much bigger hurt, much deeper wound than just ignoring the need. 

He's using me, He's growing me, He's changed & changing me... and I am constantly under attack.

On another note...
I don't know how to feel about everyone's excitement about the shirts. I am stoked that so many people are so willing to buy a shirt to help fund the India trip. But really kind of hurt that those same people couldn't just donate the ten or fifteen dollars. Ya know? 

I listened to this woman speak last week about God's voice in our lives. 
At one point she said that sometimes we need to see what we cannot get away from in order to see what His will is for our lives. 

What do you see everywhere? What ministry can't you escape... What follows you? What are the echoes in your life? 

He is so good, and as everything in my life has been under attack, I am ok... When I am pretty sure that I should be falling apart completely... I am ok. 
He's said to me, I will carry you, angel. 
And He will. ♥ 

I can trust it ALL to Him.