Fear.

Complacency. Mundanity. 

I have many ideas. Many hopes and dreams and optimisms for helping other people.

And I am the most afraid of the in-between times... The times when I am spiritually dry, when I can focus too much on myself, and lose sight of my Redeemer, my true Love. 

I am intensely afraid of the things I do, or even who I am will become all about me... How I feel, what I think, what others think about me for doing what I do, etc... 

And what does that stuff matter? It's simply nonsense. 

I feel Him so closely at times, and I know He guides me, I hear His gentle whispers in my soul, and I know He loves me. I try to surrender all, always, but I know my true strength is only Him.

My precious Saviour, please take from me my life, when I don't have the strength to give it away to you. 

I fear getting caught up so much in ministry, or everyday life even, that I lose sight of my amazing Master, and fail to hear His gentle whispers...